I shed tears in this one song (So Long, London). I was reading these lines and I realised how low I was in the deepest sense of this calling. I also had people there. They shared my past musical moments, so I’d like to ask them too, about how much sad they thought I had when I was sacrificed to the nameless gods of our bluest days. Now you already know I was mad just as much. I am still mad, because I loved that place. Yes, overall I’d say I had a good run, to our surprise.
The moderated winters with the tantalising smell of rain gently wiped out all the ruthless words and my excessive feelings. It’s all gone, all my tomboy lovers, their youthful hair so short so bright. I shall find peace in this great nothingness. I am downgraded to the smallest scale, where the flowy aura illuminates only around my lonely self. But this smallness is also significant, as if I were caught in the middle of some registration at a memorial service.
It was not so bad. It was not even that cold there, all along I had known. I just did not know where I was going, then did not know who I was racing with, for what I was counting days. We let things happen that way, but somehow that scented wind of music still wafted across my body to the Bond streets. Every now and then I feel the beats coming after us, I can’t help wondering. Would someone I used to know pass by the Dauntbook store on an uneventful evening? Would they recognise my red bag at the door? Would they step on the physical prime meridian at the top of the Greenwich park and be reminded of a smile of mine? Would they go two more miles downstream alongside the south bank of Thames just to see those starry buildings lit up again? And if so, please, just leave the Waterloo sunset we’ve never been able to have before us. Cuz I suppose it would be too long to bear, like forever. You see, they also share musical moments - things and people for so long, London.
I had a nice farewell, and probably will have a vibrant hello after years, just by which I can’t mean anything to anyone, any longer.
May 2024
Shaoxing